This is Forty

I cannot fathom how I’ve gone three months not writing single word or posting s single piece of work on this blog. It’s not like I haven’t been shooting, just not a lot of art was being produced. I’ve shot a bunch of family snapshots, which I’m glad I did but nothing that should (or will) be posted here. No my days have been filled with client work, some photography, some not, which I won’t bore you with on my first post back.

As I sit here listening to Weezer’s Teal album (fantastic BTW), reminiscing of the first time I actually had a favourite song (it was Toto’s Africa and I was 5 years old – I used to sing it while I sat in between my Mom and my Dad in their pickup truck on the way to town), I’m in an oddly reflective state. Maybe it’s because I turned 40 yesterday (let’s discuss that another day shall we?) or maybe because my kid had a “snow day” four out of a possible five days last week and today should have been a snow day but it wasn’t and the house is really quiet, which is a change of pace. Ok so that was a completely unnecessary run-on sentence but that’s the way my thoughts seem to be flowing. And yes, I have thought about that “this is forty now” joke that keeps popping into my head. Am I really forty? Blah.

I also find winter a tough time to get out and be creative. There is always some chore that needs my attention (shoveling being a big one) and I don’t particularly enjoy being out in the cold. Plus, I don’t know if it’s me feeling nostalgic or old (40) or whatever, but I have been prioritizing my time with my ten year old more than ever. I realize he isn’t always going to want to build a snow fort or play a board game or draw crazy characters we find on YouTube with his Dad forever and so I’m cherishing every single moment right now that he does. Sometimes that is at the sacrifice of my own creative work and I’m strangely ok with that.

I’ve also felt really really tired these last couple of months. It could be the lack of vitamin D, or the stress of managing household finances…I try to just let things be, but controlling the unknown has always been a worry of mine and I guess it just wears me out sometimes. Everyone has those couple of things that go towards the “self improvement” column in their checklist and for me, the above is almost tops on my list. It’ll probably take me another forty years to get it right. You see, I’m a work in progress too.

So if you are one of the few readers I have here on this blog (thank you for being here by the way), I’m going to start posting more. I swear. It’s just going to take some extra motivation on my part. But I value posting here and I value having my own place to air my thoughts. I’m not convinced that Facebook or Instagram or Tumblr or any other social media platform will be here forever and owning and controlling my own content is an important part of this process for me.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you. I’ll leave you with some photos that I took this past fall. They are from multiple stops down hwy 15 towards Morton. They aren’t abstract but sometimes I just have to get out and document the area that I live it because it’s so beautiful and I hope to do more of that now that I’m forty. Ha!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.